Several years ago my friend H.B. and I mulled over this idea -- the life of a pastor's family is never quite hidden. At that time she and her husband were on their way to a large church where they would quickly be known by thousands of people, and Jason and I were just beginning our ministry in Spring Hill. Even then, though, we mused about how our every action (like having a little disagreement with your husband in the local Mexican restaurant) might forever more been "seen" by someone. Now over the years I have grown to realize that part of being salt and light is being transparent. Yet, like it or not, our actions "seen" by others are not always weighed on equal scales. It is just part of the calling, the surrendering, the dying to self, and the "title".
For those of you in a small town this whole concept might not make much sense. I understand it is very normal for you see 10 people you know on your average run to Walmart, but for Jason and I in a town of 25,000 unindigenous Spring Hillians it is unusual. That is until recently. It seems that the 5 years of investing in our community is catching up with us, and we are no longer anonymous. (That can be a scary thought because I am human and sometimes I'm not a very good one.)
You see. It happened this week. The day I have been knowing would happen for quite sometime. I went on a 15 minute run to Target and saw three people we know from various connections. That was followed by a trip to the local Kroger where I ran into four families we know well in less than 30 minutes. (Again, I know that is foreign to those of you in a small town, but it did not always happen to us like that here.) Then, Saturday we hosted a yard sale in the driveway of our new home. And although we only posted it on Craig's List we had multiple conversations with "customers" that quickly connected us to Grace Park. There was W, who is also having a home built by our builder, and L, who was one of the original fourth grade teachers of the school where we meet for worship. Then there was S., who has visited with us at GP several times, and A., whose son came to Mission Possible. And, there was one of the hostesses from the local Mexican restaurant. And, on it goes. So, it really hit me again. We are no longer anonymous.
And that lack of anonymity carries with it responsibility. We are His ambassadors, His messengers, His salt and light. And, whether I choose it or not I am watched. So I better represent well (even on a quick run to the grocery store) because I wear His name in a town of the unindigenous where I live to redefine perceptions.
Monday, August 23
Friday, July 23
And the sun did shine.... When she was 0, I was 11. The previous 9 months had been rather tumultuous for our family, but that July day when she rode home from the hospital in my arms the sun did shine! In fact, it's been shining through her for 22 years now. And, last Saturday somewhere between putting on THE dress and touching up makeup it started to shine once again. Friday night and Saturday morning it rained showers of blessings, but it shone on their wedding!
I've always said she was the perfect "baby of the family" (and I mean that in a good way). She could make us all laugh. She mellowed Mom and Dad. She was born with style. I think she's claimed at least four of the five bedrooms and two of the three bathrooms at some point in her lifetime. She does the "aunt thing" with pomp and circumstance. And, I know why her smile is one of Drew's favorite things about her.
Their whole wedding ...I've been processing it for days. It's one of those life experiences that helps you understand what the Bible means when it says Mary "pondered these things in her heart". Yes, the wedding really was that incredible! In fact, the whole experience was incredible! I loved how she broke "all the molds" (and maybe all the rules, too). I love how she walked in to the electric guitar, how Bro. Craig made us all cry and Jason made us all laugh. I love how they admonished each other in their promises and how Drew sang with her their story. I love how we got to be barefoot and how she left with the pink flower in her hair (as the sun shone, of course). I love how "we" crashed in the nursery for a few minutes and how "we" laughed as we reminisced on Sunday. It was just an incredible experience, as the sun did shine!
So, thank you Amber and Drew! It was a beautiful reflection of you!
I've always said she was the perfect "baby of the family" (and I mean that in a good way). She could make us all laugh. She mellowed Mom and Dad. She was born with style. I think she's claimed at least four of the five bedrooms and two of the three bathrooms at some point in her lifetime. She does the "aunt thing" with pomp and circumstance. And, I know why her smile is one of Drew's favorite things about her.
Their whole wedding ...I've been processing it for days. It's one of those life experiences that helps you understand what the Bible means when it says Mary "pondered these things in her heart". Yes, the wedding really was that incredible! In fact, the whole experience was incredible! I loved how she broke "all the molds" (and maybe all the rules, too). I love how she walked in to the electric guitar, how Bro. Craig made us all cry and Jason made us all laugh. I love how they admonished each other in their promises and how Drew sang with her their story. I love how we got to be barefoot and how she left with the pink flower in her hair (as the sun shone, of course). I love how "we" crashed in the nursery for a few minutes and how "we" laughed as we reminisced on Sunday. It was just an incredible experience, as the sun did shine!
So, thank you Amber and Drew! It was a beautiful reflection of you!
Wednesday, June 16
Hard Lessons
Life is not meant to be hard. Really, it's not! However, I find myself cuddled on the couch slightly past midnight with an old friend whom I know well. Problem is this friend is not pleasant, is quite demanding, is suffocating to be around, and does not leave easily. This friend has many names. You might know him as Stress or Bad Habit or Temptation or maybe even Disobedience. Funny thing is (at 33 years into this journey) I even know how this friend gets here. And, I have to admit that I sent more than one invite to him over the last few months -- evites, phone calls, letters, personal invitations, you name it. I invited him over and over again. He always looks quite glamorous from the "other side the fence". His grass always looks green, but by now I should know IT'S NOT! Now I want him to go away, and that really isn't an option tonight, tomorrow, or even next week.
You see when he's here, he rather gets in the way. I find myself stumbling over him all day. He's consuming and totally life sucking. Sometimes, like today on my drive home, I tried to squash him (in my mind at least). Guess what? It didn't work! And, tonight I tried to ignore him. Guess what? That didn't work either! Maybe tomorrow I'll try to work him to death, literally. Guess what? I already know that won't work because I've tried that before.
Frankly, I think my husband describes him best as "trading good for best" because you see, for me, this friend is not bad. It's just that he's not BEST. As much as I want to make him BEST and think that GOOD is what I want, when I get it I find it's not. It's just not. There's only one BEST, and it's spelled out for me in black and white (actually more than once - Matt. 11:29 for example). You would think someone with my skills (basic literacy) could read, comprehend, and apply plain text, but evidently I can't or don't or won't. I'm not sure which it is, but I'm pretty sure it's either don't or won't.
So here I find myself humbly looking at BEST and sitting with GOOD. He'll be here for several more weeks as I slowly rid myself of him. And in the meantime I'll be praying mercy over my invite and grace over my next encounter with him.
You see when he's here, he rather gets in the way. I find myself stumbling over him all day. He's consuming and totally life sucking. Sometimes, like today on my drive home, I tried to squash him (in my mind at least). Guess what? It didn't work! And, tonight I tried to ignore him. Guess what? That didn't work either! Maybe tomorrow I'll try to work him to death, literally. Guess what? I already know that won't work because I've tried that before.
Frankly, I think my husband describes him best as "trading good for best" because you see, for me, this friend is not bad. It's just that he's not BEST. As much as I want to make him BEST and think that GOOD is what I want, when I get it I find it's not. It's just not. There's only one BEST, and it's spelled out for me in black and white (actually more than once - Matt. 11:29 for example). You would think someone with my skills (basic literacy) could read, comprehend, and apply plain text, but evidently I can't or don't or won't. I'm not sure which it is, but I'm pretty sure it's either don't or won't.
So here I find myself humbly looking at BEST and sitting with GOOD. He'll be here for several more weeks as I slowly rid myself of him. And in the meantime I'll be praying mercy over my invite and grace over my next encounter with him.
Monday, March 22
It's All About Relationships
This past week I had the opportunity to attend a National Training Institute on Effective Practices for working with children with challenging behaviors. Although I am well versed in the model the Institute was built on, I was reminded how important relationships are in our lives. In fact, this model suggests strong, positive relationships should be the foundation of a classroom and are the first "layer" in preventing challenging behaviors from developing. So, once again I was encouraged to just dream about what would happen in classrooms across our nation if teachers took time to build strong, positive relationships with all children and their families. All children are deserving of this person in their life!
Tonight I have the television on for noise as I am grading, grading, grading. Since we do not have cable, the best option I have is Npt. I know it's sappy, but sometimes it really does have a program that is educational. Tonight there is a program about senior adults who have created this group called the Young at Heart Chorus. They spend hours on end practicing and are under the leadership of a talented director who really pushes them to improve. The documentary captures the struggles but also the joys of being elderly, as many of those in the chorus are well over 70 and in poor health.
On the program, they filmed the group performing at a prison. Sitting outside with hundreds of inmates as their audience, the chorus performs a beautiful show with uplifting and encouraging songs. Despite having lost one of their soloists that morning to a heart attack, the group performs with joy and enthusiasm. The inmates gave the group a standing ovation! Afterwards, each of the senior adults went out into the group of inmates and spoke with them. Many of the inmates were smiling and even kissing the ladies on the cheek. There were many hugs, handshakes, and thank yous exchanged. Several inmates told the group that the performance was the best of their lives. And, I cannot help but think, "what if?"
Research tells us that children under the age of 5 with challenging behaviors who do not get appropriate intervention (part of which includes meaningful and strong, positive relationships) have a high probability of incarceration. So, I wonder. . . Did those inmates have anyone in their life who cared enough to build a true relationship with them? What if someone had? What difference could one person have made in their lives? If someone had invested in them could they have changed the course of that inmate's life? What if someone invested in them now? How could one strong, positive relationship change the course of an inmate's life? What if?
Tonight I have the television on for noise as I am grading, grading, grading. Since we do not have cable, the best option I have is Npt. I know it's sappy, but sometimes it really does have a program that is educational. Tonight there is a program about senior adults who have created this group called the Young at Heart Chorus. They spend hours on end practicing and are under the leadership of a talented director who really pushes them to improve. The documentary captures the struggles but also the joys of being elderly, as many of those in the chorus are well over 70 and in poor health.
On the program, they filmed the group performing at a prison. Sitting outside with hundreds of inmates as their audience, the chorus performs a beautiful show with uplifting and encouraging songs. Despite having lost one of their soloists that morning to a heart attack, the group performs with joy and enthusiasm. The inmates gave the group a standing ovation! Afterwards, each of the senior adults went out into the group of inmates and spoke with them. Many of the inmates were smiling and even kissing the ladies on the cheek. There were many hugs, handshakes, and thank yous exchanged. Several inmates told the group that the performance was the best of their lives. And, I cannot help but think, "what if?"
Research tells us that children under the age of 5 with challenging behaviors who do not get appropriate intervention (part of which includes meaningful and strong, positive relationships) have a high probability of incarceration. So, I wonder. . . Did those inmates have anyone in their life who cared enough to build a true relationship with them? What if someone had? What difference could one person have made in their lives? If someone had invested in them could they have changed the course of that inmate's life? What if someone invested in them now? How could one strong, positive relationship change the course of an inmate's life? What if?
Monday, February 8
A Child of the King
Saturday was a big day in the life of our family. Amber, soon to be bride, played host to our family and her new family (girls only, though) as we met for coffee, shopped, had girly food for lunch, and then experienced a really ROUGH few hours at the bridal store. The first few minutes should have clued us in but with our heads buried in toule, satin, and a few unmentionables we were not quite seeing "straight".
Arriving at the (will not mention it's name) bridal store, we politely checked in for our scheduled appointment and were escorted to a dressing room where Amber quietly slipped into her gown while the (will not mention her name) bridal consultant ran around with our premade list of bridesmaids' dress numbers looking for any available dressing room we (will not mention name of bridesmaids) could call home for the next 15 dress episodes. Then, she disappeared as we oohed and ahhed over just how perfect Amber's dress (will not mention a description of it) is. And, I should add how pretty she makes the dress look! Problem being, she (will not mention bridal consultant) disappered with our list of dresses.
No, we did not intend to look back through the 40 or so styles the store offered while politely excusing ourselves through the maze of prom dress shoppers and dare I say daddies and boyfriends. (We spent an hour or so making that list the night before so as to avoid such a calamity.) Nevertheless, no list in sight, we set out through the racks of dresses and then made our way back to the ONE dressing room and perserved as much dignity as possible dressing and undressing as we shared dressing rooms. Then, it all began to go sour. . . And, I prefer to not rehash the events of the next two hours except to say that when our bridal consultant got so flustered (not sure why because she had not even been helping us) that she huffed in Abigail's face (oh, yes, she did!) and later noted that the bride's Mom (will not mention names) was "furious" (yes, her exact word).
Oh my, and that was just some of the really bad behavior we experienced at the (not to be named) bridal store. So, my question is ~ how should we respond? No, really. It's not time for the trite, pat answers. And, it's not time for the WWJD bracelets. I have been pondering this question for over 48 hours now and really do not have a solution (or, maybe it's not an answer I like). But, there is one thing I have settled on.
The (not to be named) bridal consultant is a child of the King. Yep, that's right. No matter how rude we might have perceived her to be or how much we would like to berate her behavior, she is a child of the King. What we do not know is what had happened in her day to lead up to those hours or what what going on in other facets of her life or if she has a relationship with the King. But, what I do know is that just as He loves me (faults and all), He loves her too. (And, Amber will have a bridal gown that is perfect! And, we will have beautiful bridesmaid dresses. And, the flower girl dresses will match Amber's dress. Although, none of these will be purchased at THAT store.) And, the second greatest commandment is to love her (the not to be named bridal consultant) as I love myself without justifying my thoughts with the buts and ifs. Although I'm still not sure how to respond to the really bad service (at the not to be named bridal store), I do know that she (not to be named bridal consultant) is created in the image of Him and she is a child of the King that I am called to love.
Arriving at the (will not mention it's name) bridal store, we politely checked in for our scheduled appointment and were escorted to a dressing room where Amber quietly slipped into her gown while the (will not mention her name) bridal consultant ran around with our premade list of bridesmaids' dress numbers looking for any available dressing room we (will not mention name of bridesmaids) could call home for the next 15 dress episodes. Then, she disappeared as we oohed and ahhed over just how perfect Amber's dress (will not mention a description of it) is. And, I should add how pretty she makes the dress look! Problem being, she (will not mention bridal consultant) disappered with our list of dresses.
No, we did not intend to look back through the 40 or so styles the store offered while politely excusing ourselves through the maze of prom dress shoppers and dare I say daddies and boyfriends. (We spent an hour or so making that list the night before so as to avoid such a calamity.) Nevertheless, no list in sight, we set out through the racks of dresses and then made our way back to the ONE dressing room and perserved as much dignity as possible dressing and undressing as we shared dressing rooms. Then, it all began to go sour. . . And, I prefer to not rehash the events of the next two hours except to say that when our bridal consultant got so flustered (not sure why because she had not even been helping us) that she huffed in Abigail's face (oh, yes, she did!) and later noted that the bride's Mom (will not mention names) was "furious" (yes, her exact word).
Oh my, and that was just some of the really bad behavior we experienced at the (not to be named) bridal store. So, my question is ~ how should we respond? No, really. It's not time for the trite, pat answers. And, it's not time for the WWJD bracelets. I have been pondering this question for over 48 hours now and really do not have a solution (or, maybe it's not an answer I like). But, there is one thing I have settled on.
The (not to be named) bridal consultant is a child of the King. Yep, that's right. No matter how rude we might have perceived her to be or how much we would like to berate her behavior, she is a child of the King. What we do not know is what had happened in her day to lead up to those hours or what what going on in other facets of her life or if she has a relationship with the King. But, what I do know is that just as He loves me (faults and all), He loves her too. (And, Amber will have a bridal gown that is perfect! And, we will have beautiful bridesmaid dresses. And, the flower girl dresses will match Amber's dress. Although, none of these will be purchased at THAT store.) And, the second greatest commandment is to love her (the not to be named bridal consultant) as I love myself without justifying my thoughts with the buts and ifs. Although I'm still not sure how to respond to the really bad service (at the not to be named bridal store), I do know that she (not to be named bridal consultant) is created in the image of Him and she is a child of the King that I am called to love.
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