Friday, February 20

The Heart in My Window



It's simple.   

A little wooden heart.

Painted by MY two year old at school.

So simple.

Dressed up with ribbons.

But. .... It's a heart I waited 16 years to receive! 

I love it!  More so, though, I love what it represents.  

God's faithfulness.  

Years of barrenness.  No promise of a child.  Yet a promise that God is big enough.  He hears.  He sees.  He cares.  

Nights of wondering.  

Longing. 

Hoping.  

Praying.  

Wrestling.  

Through those years and in those "nights" I made hearts that were sent home for kitchen windows, oversized paintings for the refrigerator, ornaments for Christmas trees, handprints for Mother's Day, poems for Valentines, and everyday drawings, paintings, and photos.  Years of sending these home with beautiful children in my prek classes.  Years of coming home to a barren, sleek, stainless steel refrigerator and no hearts in the window.  

Yet, in those nights God gave peace. Perfect peace that His plan was best (whatever that might look like).  

Best.  Best.  Best.  

"Trust me," He said.  

Wait.  

Not now.  

Maybe never.  

Maybe one day.  

Then...unexpected. A big God. A big gift. His faithfulness. His plan. His time. A child. My womb. And now a heart in the window.

God, I praise you for life. I praise you for peace, contentment, and joy in the waiting. I praise you for being enough no matter the outcome.  I praise you for AG and for AE and for the 16 years of waiting.  You taught me much.  Thank you for investing in me during those 16 years.  Give grace to those still waiting.  Amen

Sunday, January 11

Today I Was THAT Mom

Yep.  I officially crossed a line today.  For those of you who had children in your twenties, this will make no sense to you (for you crossed this line many years before you were old enough to recognize the line).  However, I've been watching Moms for years (as I was sort of pushing forty before mine were born).  I see you in Target, at the grocery store, at little league games, out for dinner, playing in the park, and even at Sunday gatherings.  Sometimes your children look something like this!


Yes.  They dressed themselves.  I've often wondered why you might allow your child out of the house in such an ill-matching (however cute) attire.  Now I know....  Today I was tired and just couldn't bring myself to tell her, "NO!  No way (as cute as you are to me) am I going in public with you dressed like this!"  So off we went.  Straight to Kroger, where we found a large percentage of the population of our town.  All I can say is at least it was raining this morning.  

And, if you will allow me to use a few hashtags....  #notworththebattle   #hopewedontseeanyoneweknow   #ilovemytoddler    #lifewithtwolittleones

Saturday, December 20

It's a Messy House

It's 2 pm.  The two year old just went down for a late nap and baby is sleeping.  It's the quiet of nap time that many moms hope for daily.  Looking around I feel a bit overwhelmed at the little messes all around.  

Laundry.  It's never done.  Coconut flakes and icing smeared under the kitchen table.  Been there for two days now.  Sugar granules spilt on the counter top with a half-drawn "A" still visible.  Spaghetti plates in the sink.  Toys.  Toys. Toys.  Scattered in the living room.  Oh, and there is baby Jesus sandwiched between the couch cushions.  

I really want to do something important.  Surely I could be a famous blogger or author a children's book or at the least read my textbook for next semester all while drinking a latte, but the messy house really needs attention.  Here I tend to begin to loathe and feel sad for the person I think I want to be.  Then I am reminded of all that the mess represents.  

Love.  Family.  Fun.  Play.  Gifts for friends.  Baking with a toddler.  A cuddly baby.  Sweet treats.  A Christmas party.  Dinner from a friend.  All things wonderful.  

And, the mess suddenly becomes a blessing.  For without all these life might just be a bit too quiet, empty, and lonely.

I love getting to be a Mommy.  It's a messy privilege for which I never want to loathe.  

Tuesday, September 13

Thought for Today

If I had a Twitter account, this would be worth a tweet.

"When you see what God is up to in the world, you will be moved to live out a better story."

~Reggie Joiner, Orange Tour, on investing in the lives of the children and students

Saturday, September 10

A Month of Heartache

Oh, the heart does ache.  This month we will say good-bye to not one but three of our Grace Park families.  Oh Spring Hill, why are you so transient?  Why are you not like rural Mississippi, where people are born, live, and die all with a 10 mile radius?   

Friending, loving, and sharing life becomes oh so hard when good-byes are a frequent part of the process.  

And, yet, we are honored to be in the circle of such amazing families, such amazing individuals. 

The Lord has impressed upon me that they will not leave a void but a richness and fullness for all they have been in our lives.

Friday, August 19

Eyes to See

"Earth's crammed with heaven,
and every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
the rest sit round it and pluck blackberries,
and daub their natural faces unaware."

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Sad to say, I did not discover this inciteful piece of work by reading one of Browning's collections.  I just do not typically "roll" like that.  Still, I am glad to have happened upon it in my study today (i.e. Ruth by Kelly Minter, which can be found at Lifeway).  K.M used Browning's work as a reminder of the fingerprints of God that are around us everyday.  The difference is those of us with eyes to see and those of us who are unaware. . . I wonder what fingerprints I missed today.

Sunday, November 14

Faithfulness

So much I've meant to blog about lately...Time seems to be my enemy the last few weeks.  Maybe I won't unfurl a month of posts in one.   

Jason has been preaching through the Fruit of Spirit, and quite frankly I'm a little ready to move past the Fruit (developed or not).  It's starting to get a little painful, and why should I be surprised.  Pruning and growing is not easy.  This week is gentleness.  Ha!  Just because my husband needs to refine gentleness, doesn't mean I need to also.  Does it?  You can imagine a few of the curve balls that have come our way this week.  Next week is self-control.  I'll choose not to worry about what might come next week.

However, last week was faithfulness.  And, it was a Sunday of WOW, which is not meant to stand for World of Warcraft or any other texting abbreviation I may not be aware of.  It really does mean "wow".  God is beginning to display His faithfulness to us in tangible ways.  To enumerate those here would take more words than I can attempt to craft on a Sunday afternoon.   God is not just now becoming faithful, but we are getting a better glimpse of what He promised in the Word when we followed the call six years ago. 

Six years ago this month, we became residents of Spring Hill.  Idealistic, but trusting. Knowing not a soul, clinging to 1 Thessalonians 5:24, we began to make Spring Hill our home.  The simple fact that we are still here is a testimony of His faithfulness (and due some to my fear of God), but there's more!  It's like having a present that you have to wait 20, 40, 50 years to fully open, and we're only in year six!  Some days we get to pull back a little bit of the wrapping, but we can only dream of what is inside.  In the past month, it's like God has let us take a doctor's scope and look inside the wrapped gift.  It's like we now have but a small glimpse of the package that one day, due to His faithfulness, will be opened. 

For now, though, we'll keep clinging to His promise and remembering how He is proving Himself faithful.  Here's some of what we have seen the past few weeks:
  • Van became acquainted with Grace Park (GP) after his girlfriend encountered us as at egg hunt 3 years ago.  It's been a long journey from atheism to belief in Christ, but Jason had the privilege of baptising Van a few Sunday's ago.  (It's was our first baptism service in our own baptistry!)  And, this past Sunday (during the Faithfulness sermon), Van took communion with his new brothers and sisters!
  • Five years ago Jason began coaching t-ball due to a need in our community.  About a month ago, he ran into his assistant coach from that first year and his 10 year old son on a Sunday morning while playing Ultimate in the park.  J and his boys have begun playing Ultimate with GP on Sunday mornings and attending our weekly worship gatherings. 
  • This week a couple sat in our living room, attending Exploring Grace Park (a new membership class).  We knew of at least 7 touches, over 5 years, that we had had with this family before they began visiting with us this spring.  In the membership class, when Jason asked for examples of how those in attendance had seen our core value of service played out in the community, this couple began naming multiple encounters with GP over the years!  We had no idea!  And, they told the story of our first block party in their neighborhood when rain was falling ALL around and the block party was dry!  (An unchurched family testifying to God's faithfulness right in our living room!  By the way, Jason has screen shots from weather.com of that night.)
  • And the stories continue....There's D, who is beginning her faith journey; our new neighbors; and G, who has had a series of random GP touches in many different areas of his life. 
God is faithful.  He has been faithful, and we will continue to cling to the faithfulness that has held us here for six years, has led us to be able to say "this is home", and that will hold us here through future ups and downs, tears of pain and tears of joy, and that will one day lead us home, where we will see the full package unwrapped.